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The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the first episode of the first series.
Key[]
- HD – Hugh Dennis
- RB – Rory Bremner
- FB – Frankie Boyle
- JO – John Oliver
- LS – Linda Smith
- JH – Jeremy Hardy
Topics[]
Things a New Pope Shouldn't Say In His First Public Speech[]
- HD: (singing) Y.M.C.A!
- LS: I've dreamed of this moment ever since I was a little girl.
- JO: What a fucking view.
- RB: I'd like to thank my wife.
- FB: I only wish Hitler could have been alive to see this moment.
- RB: I'm a celibate, get me out of here!
- FB: I can't think of a finer way to spend the last six months of my life.
- HD: Look at the tits on that nun!
Books Heading Straight For the Remaindered Bin[]
- FB: Paul Gascoigne's Sudoku.
- HD: Beckham's Thesaurus.
- RB: The Ron Atkinson Diet.
- LS: My Struggle by Paris Hilton.
- FB: John Leslie's pop-up autobiography.
- JH: Michael Jackson's touch and feel book.
- RB: Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction, a dossier.
Slogans That the Tory Party Should Have Used In the Election[]
- JH: Vote for us and we'll hand Thatcher over.
- LS: Are you sinking like we're sinking.
- RB: It's L'Oréal and I'm worth it.
- FB: There's a Muslim paedophile living under your child's bed, vote Conservative.
If Politicians Endorsed Products[]
- RB: It's L'Oréal and I'm worth it.
- HD: Kids will just love KerBlunkett.
- LS: Hello I'm Peter Mandelson and when I needed a mortgage I phoned Loans Direct.
- RB: Were you injured in an accident that wasn't your fault?