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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 10, Episode 1

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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
Link to an edition of the round
Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the first episode of the tenth series.

Key Edit

  • HD – Hugh Dennis
  • AP – Andy Parsons
  • SW – Seann Walsh
  • CA – Chris Addison
  • MJ – Milton Jones
  • GD – Greg Davies

Topics Edit

Things You Wouldn't Hear At A School Assembly Edit

AP - Ok, today we're going to have a special outing. So, Miss. Williams, if you'd like to tell everybody why you're a lesbian.

MJ - We welcome a new member of staff today. He has no arms, and no legs, and no body, and we will call him the Head.

CA - Would... whoever's milkshake is bringing all the boys to the yard, please stop it.

GD - I'm sorry for the waiting boys and girls, I've just had a shit the size of a baby seal.

CA - If you're found in possession of cocaine, you'll be given a hundred lines. No wait...

SW - And today in the after-school club, we're going to be using paper-mache to make a mother that actually loves you enough to pick you up at three o' clock.

HD - I'm delighted to say that during the summer holidays, Mr. Wan married Miss. Ker. His nickname will remain the same.

GD - A wise man once said, boys and girls, that if you try your hardest, you can fulfill your dreams. Generally that's true. Not for you though Tom, you can't read.

SW - And today everyone, we have a new boy. Now for some reason, whatever reason, he's been to a lot of schools. So be kind to him. Would you please make your way to the front, Richard Poowilly.

MJ - A word about registers, most of the staff are on one.

AP - So that is how you put on a condom (turns to the right) But sir, shouldn't you use a cucumber? (turns back) not with that e-coli kicking around.

HD - Sorry. Sorry I'm late, I just had a bit of a run-in with the interactive whiteboard. It told me to fuck off.

CA - I've had all your mums.

Unlikely Things To Hear On A TV Talent Show Edit

HD - Tonight, I'm going to be climbing a Sepp Blatter.

GD - You're right, I can't sing! Thanks!

MJ - I'd like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine who was run over last week and is in hospital... (sings) The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round...

SW - I've got an ability that no one on this planet has (fingers on temples). That's Ant, that's Dec.

AP - It was like Elvis was in the building. You're fat, and there's a stench of death.

CA - Well Peter, it's not what everyone will call entertainment, but you, are one hell of an assassin.

HD - I thought you hit a high notes really, really well. It'll be interesting to see if you can still do that when I haven't got your nuts in a clamp.

GD - Hello! Where's my double act partner? Oh, he's in here (takes microphone, holds it near crotch and mutters) Feeling, nothing more than feeling, trying to... (buzzer goes off)

HD - When you said you were going to ride a donkey?

AP - Yes, I have been on the show before. I was once trapped in somebody else's underpants, going, feeling...

CA - That was an exceptional performance, and the way you have overcome your blindness is truly inspirational. But this is a chip shop, the X Factor audition's is next door.

SW - (As Michael McIntyre) I'm going to be honest with you. I think you're all terrible, OK? All of you, you're completely dreadful, I don't know what you're doing. Especially you, Hasselhoff, what have you done since Baywatch?

HD - And as well as that, I can unzip the top of my head, it's where I keep my pyjamas.

AP - I know you said you were a Gary Glitter tribute act, but we weren't expecting you to do that!

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