- HD – Hugh Dennis
- AP – Andy Parsons
- EB – Ed Byrne
- JW – Jack Whitehall
- MJ – Milton Jones
- MF – Micky Flanagan
Unlikely Questions From This Year's Exam Edit
HD - Discuss the meta-physical meaning of the following poem: My friend Billy has a ten-foot willy.
EB - Would you like this exam to be a) Multiple Choice, or not?
JW - The Brontë Sisters. Shag, marry, push off a cliff?
MJ - Discuss the following: The Nazis got all their ideas from the History Channel.
MF - Who's the chap in the A-team that would not get on the airplane? Was it a) B or b) A?
AP - If a bank loses 60 billion pounds in a six-month period, using numbers that you've plucked out of thin air, work out what the Chief Executive's bonus will be.
HD - Napoleon. A small man, or a long way away?
MJ - Quantify N in terms of Q when Q is a positive integer that dissects a parabolic curve... how's your lucky pencil case now? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh?
MF - What's the name of that round thing that they throw in the Olympics? Discuss.
JW - Poetry. (high pitch voice) Is it all a bit gay?
HD - Draw a diagram of the genitalia of a male elephant. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.
EB - Biology. Without singing, what is the knee bone connected to?
AP - Explain the use of juxtaposition in MacBeth, Alternatively, write down everything you know about MacBeth in a blind panic, cause you've got no idea what the word juxtaposition is.
JW - Drama. Question 1. What was it that first made you want to become a waiter?
HD - What is your PIN number?
Unlikely Things To Read On A Motorway Sign Edit
AP - To Middlesborough, take the exit marked 'Hell', and then lose the will to live.
MJ - Accident. You were one. Love, Mum and Dad.
HD - When lights flash, dogging is about to start.
EB - There may be trouble ahead. Prepare to face music and dance.
JW - You are now 200 metres beyond the junction your piece of shit sat-nav is telling you're approaching now.
MF - For those of you who are looking for more safety tips, text 'now'.
MJ - Beware, giant scissors coming towards you along the dotted lines.
HD - Turn on lights in tunnel. They're on the right, just above the entrance.
AP - Turn off the sat-nav. Use the force, Luke.
JW - The North, where the men are real men, and so are quite a lot of the women.
EB - If you can taste this sign, it means you have crashed into it.
AP - Throw banana skin behind car now. Super Mario and Diddy Kong approaching from rear.
MJ - There was a young man from Preston who tried to drive to Heston, the sign wouldn't rhyme and he plowed into the back of a juggernaut.
MF - Pick us up a pint of milk, Tel. Thanks, Trace.