The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the fifth episode of the fourth series.
Unlikely Things To Hear On Comic ReliefEdit
- AP: And we'd just like to thank the donation of 160,000 turkeys from a Mr B. Matthews.
- FB: Remember: tonight isn't just about comedy, here's Ben Elton.
- HD: Of course we're also supporting projects in the UK - for example, this is my extension.
- JC: My name is Abit. I'm seven years old and I have to walk five miles everyday to get fresh water, so I really don't have time to play football with fat celebrities. Fuck off and give me the money.
- RH: (as Bernard Manning) Right, here'e one for you, 3 Ethiopians walk into a bar...
- FB: If we remove all these villagers' cataracts, one day they might be able to make our shoes.
- RG: Yeah, I don't believe it either, some of those kids are fatter then I am.
- FB: And remember 20% of everything you give goes directly to a grinning warlord wearing a necklace of human finger bones.
- HD: This village had one goat. Until I ate it!
- FB: Later, Dawn French will be climbing into a bath full of beans. Not for charity: it's her supper!
- RH: (jumping) We're from the Masai tribe, when are we going to get the money for that ident we did?
The Worst Thing Your New Neighbour Could SayEdit
- FB: What day do the bins go out around here, my wife's body is starting to stink!
- HD: (hillbilly accent) Well, looks like we got ourselves a fresh one.
- AP: I hope my turkeys won't be keeping you awake.
- FB: My wife and I are nudists and have been for the past 70 years.
- HD: You're bigger than you look through the telescope.
- JC: Welcome to the street, or as we like to call it, the cul-de-sac of Christ.
- HD: (as Jimmy Savile) Do you like the music of Showaddywaddy?
- RH: I can see you when you sleep.
- HD: Yes that's right, the wife breeds rottweilers, the kids are in a brass band and I'm a paedophile!
- FB: (with Russell as a dog) It's simple: your dog and I are in love. (rides Russell off camera)
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