The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the eighth episode of the fifth series.
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- FB: There's a white man in the final of the 100 metres. Good luck with that.
- HD: That man runs like a panther, and if he could learn just to use 2 legs he'd be absolutely unbeatable.
- AP: And I've got to say it's a surprise, yes, the winner of the marathon are 4 blokes tied together dressed as Spiderman!
- AC: This should be a laugh, women running!
- HD: Lane 1: the UK. Lane 2: the USA. Lane 3: closed for resurfacing.
- EB: And here come the walkers now, mincing their way into the stadium.
- FB: And in this final of the women's gymnastics, I've been nailed to my chair for my own good.
- HD: And there's the bell! Can someone get the door please? I'm commentating.
- FB: Tragedy in the water polo, as most of the horses drown.
- AP: And the urine sample appears to have melted the beaker. That's not a good sign...
- HD: And in the end it took a photograph to separate them: the one of him shagging a pole dancer in Nevada.
- FB: And in the slow-motion replay you can quite clearly see his cock swinging from side-to-side.
The Worst Thing To Say When Running For U.S. President[]
- FB: I intend to withdraw from Iraq; invade some real pussies, like Spain!
- HD: Hi there. I'm like George Bush, only less intelligent.
- FB: I will never forget the terrible events of 9/12.
- EB: Now I know what you're thinking a Sagittarius for President, but I have Leo rising!
- AP: Yes I smoked marijuana, and I inhaled ... just now. (giggles)
- FB: There are no skeletons in my closet, just a black latex dildo suit.
- HD: (as Jimmy Savile) I would like you to call me ... President Showaddywaddy.
- FB: I have a magnificent war record, it's Pipes of Peace by [cracking up] Paul McCartney!
- EB: Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana, I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not inhale. (proceeds to dance crazily)