The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the tenth episode of the seventh series.
Bad Things To Hear From a Tour GuideEdit
- RH: Please don't take photos of the natives because they believe that you're taking part of their soul, apart from that: enjoy Norwich
- FB: Hello, me name's Janet, I'm your holiday rep and basically I'll be giving out morning-after pills like they were Smarties
- HD: (Speaks very quietly) Good morning, I'm afraid this is the loudest I can speak
- EB: Venice is the most historical city famous for its, OH SHIT IT'S FLOODED EVERYONE GET BACK ON THE BUS!
- FB: A lot of you will be wondering why there are so many wonderful foreign treasures on display here at the British Museum, and the answer I,s quite simple really: Gun beats spear
- HD: Don't worry this castle does cater for the disabled, they bring you a sandwich while the rest of us go up the steps and look at it
- RH: Lets have a little song shall we (Hums Dueling Banjos)
- AP: Coming up later on we've the Topless Donkey Derby and Who's Got The Funniest Willy Competition, yes its going to be the best Saga Holiday you've ever had
- FB: I know that a lot of you can't bear to leave Thailand, which is why I've hidden drugs randomly in your luggage
- EB: And as we enter the next room where I need you all to be very quiet, because we have technically broken in
- FB: If you need anything, anything at all, I'll be under your bed
- JW: And if you look out of the window on your left you'll see the side of the road that we should be driving on
- FB: Of course you have to respect local customs: on the right hand side, you'll see a woman being burned at the stake, and on the left, Dundee Town Hall
- HD: Well this the deepest darkest bit of the caves. Unless you give me twenty pounds each it's where you're staying
- EB: And according to Wikipedia, The East Wing was built in the year Dougie is a homo
- JW: We're now leaving the Green Zone: pop on your flak jackets, this is the real Baghdad
- FB: An adult and two children is ten pounds, but enough about my trip to Cambodia
Unlikely Things To Hear on a Breakfast ShowEdit
- FB: If the woman i picked up last night is watching, help yourself to cereal but get out the flat by the time i get home
- HD: And now its time for thought for the day ...hmm that was a good one
- AP: Your listening to Six Music. Yes you. Just you
- RH: Welcome to Travel Report I've got a text from Dave on the M5 who says ha ha ha, everything morning you leave for work I pop round and shag your wife
- HD: So if your trying to get in via Junction 2, stop it, it's against nature and the Bible says no
- FB: Next we speak to Fern Britton about having her stomach stapled, this time to an enormous chocolate cake
- JW: In another traffic news if your on the M11 heading towards Middlesborough i would turn around because its a shithole
- RH: Hello!, I'm doing a survey into the effects of replacing milk on your Weetabix with RED BULL!
- EB: We can see there's been a accident northbound on the M1 and it is a beauty
- FB: Welcome to Radio Tourettes you shit monkeys
- HD: You may think of it as a breakfast show i had mine at four bloody thirty!
- FB: Later Vanessa Feltz will be joining me on the settee and I'll be bouncing through the fucking ceiling
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