Things You Wouldn't Hear From a Weather Forecaster
HD: The Met Office have issued a weather warning, they've told the weather not to do that again or there'll be trouble.
FB: Temperatures could rise to 31 degrees- SHIT! I'VE LEFT MY BABY IN THE CAR!
RH: A hurricane tonight will be caused by low pressure, and God’s hatred of homosexuality.
FB: A huge depression over Scotland, and now the weather.
FS: And finally, a warning to high fever sufferers: Don't come sneezing near me or I'll rip your face off.
HD: So here's the summary: Monday shite, Tuesday shite, Wednesday shite, Thursday bollocks.
AP: The humidity's rising, the barometer's going low. Tonight, for the first time, just about half past ten... it's gonna start raining men.
FB: Yeah it looks bright for the weekend, I've got three grams of coke in my pocket and my wife's on holiday.
HD: Well let's go to Carol on the roof of Television Centre: she's not meant to be there; she's just a bit depressed.
FB: This part of the country is gonna stay hot and wet for quite some time, because that's where my girlfriend lives. Oh, yeah!
HD: So, it's gonna be between 17 and 21, but (Silvio) Berlusconi won't date older than that.
RH: It was raining cats and dogs last night. I should know; I was throwing them off my roof.
GY: What you watchin me for, look out the fuckin' window.
FS: It's gonna be cloudier tonight. I love those German birds.
FB: What do you care what the weather's gonna be like, you look shit in all your clothes!
Deleted Lines From Star Trek
HD: Kirk to Enterprise. Okay, how about if I stand over here? *moves*
FB: 'HALUMMAHAMNEBALHEMNEHUMBAHA.' 'Scotty, that's the most convincing your accent has ever been.'
FS: (imitating steering) Captain I can see an alien ship approaching, it's not showing up on the radar. It's a circular vessel, some sort of lettering and number- Oh no sorry it's m- it's my tax disc.
HD: I have no emotion. My mother was a Vulcan, my father was Gordon Brown.
RH: All right, which one of you ate my scotch egg.
FB: This is the Federation of Gay Planets, open your docking bay and prepare to be boarded.
RH: Say what, Spock, your towel is a lot softer than mine.
GY: Captains log. Just seen some aliens OMG WTF LOL smiley face.
FB: 'Who are these terrifying aliens?' 'You can't call 'em that anymore, Captain, it's Uhura and Sulu.
HD: (with a strange voice) Velcome to ze S.S.Enterprise, Mr. Ecclestone!
AP: Now which one of you put your red top in the washing with all the yellow ones?!
RH: There's gonna be some changes around here... They call me Captain Tatty Bojangles.
FB: 'What's wrong, Captain Picard?' 'WHAT'S WRONG?! I'M A SERIOUS SHAKESPEARIAN ACTOR, AND I'M TALKING TO THE AMBASSADOR OF THE FUCKING WORM PEOPLE!'
