The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the second episode of the seventh series.
Unlikely Things To Hear On a Survival ShowEdit
- FB: I was first taught to eat in the bush by a french girl i went out with a university
- HD: To get the fish: Break the ice, jump the checkout and RUN!
- TS: Not only is this lake good for fish, but we can also put a body in it.
- FB: Using excrements, mud and twigs, they've made primative bedding here at The Premier Travel Lodge
- RH: I'm in the congo, lets settle this once and for all, do you boys like Um Bongo?
- AP: Here I am, in the jungle. The mighty jungle. Awim bawe awim bawe awim!
- FB: But who are the truly civilized? Is it the emboopee tribe, or is it us, with our books, our medicine, and our internet Oh yes it's us.
- RG: Of course food is a scarce and valuble resource to these tribespeople. So i've just bagged myself two nights with this fella's wife for a Twix
- HD: You know Ant and Dec think that their jungle's pretty tough well they join my today but there was no food, so i eat them
- RH: The villagers get up early and walk five miles to fetch clean water every day, which begs the question: Why not move the village closer?
- FB: The strong, powerful sun is making me sweat. Oh shit here comes his dad!
- HD: I've been living in these woods for three weeks now. But that's what happens if you marry to the home secretary if he catches you watching porn.
- RH: I'm Bear Grylls, and this is my brother, Wolf Stirfry.
- FB: I've just achieved my life's ambition, by climbing Everest, with no food, and no equipment. NOW DO YOU LOVE ME DADDY?! NOW DO YOU LOVE ME?!
Unlikely Things To Read On a PacketEdit
- FB: Ragu Sauce. If you gave this to someone who is actually from Italy, they punch you in the face!
- HD: To open, push down tab, break tab, swear repeatedly, STAB WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS!!
- AP: Serves four, ya greedy bastard, now put some of that back!
- FB: Viagra are proud sponsors of Andy Murray. For people who can only achive a semi.
- TS: Bag may also be used for autoerotic asphyxiation.
- RH: Fair-trade coffee. If you don't like it, you're racist.
- FB: Sunny Delight counts towards your five-a-day. As minus two.
- HD: To stop diarrhea, take one teaspoon... and shove it up your arse.
- RG: Adults and children over 12 years... Try not to get those two mixed up.
- AP: Cup a soup. Just add soup.
- FB: Best before date: Rohypnol.
- RH: Serving Suggestions: on a plate, you thick moron!
- FB: We use only the very cheapest horsemeat to make 'Fuck it, it's just a cat'.
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