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Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 9, Episode 9

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Scenes We'd Like To See
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Category · Infobox

Series 1
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 2
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 3
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6
Full list of scenarios

Series 4
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
Full list of scenarios

Series 5
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 6
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 7
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 8
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5
2010 Sport Relief Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 9
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 10
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 11
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12
Full list of scenarios

Series 12
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 13
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Compilation Episode
Christmas Special
New Year's Eve Special
Full list of scenarios

Series 14
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Series 15
1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11
Full list of scenarios

Templates
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Link to a specific scenario
TOC for scenario lists

The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the ninth episode of the ninth series.

Key Edit

  • HD – Hugh Dennis
  • AP – Andy Parsons
  • KB – Kevin Bridges
  • PK – Patrick Kielty
  • MJ – Milton Jones
  • RK – Russell Kane

Topics Edit

Unlikely Things To Hear On A News Programme Edit

AP - Behind me, a man lies dead. That's what happens if you pull faces in the background when I'm doing a piece to camera.

HD - This is BBC 3 News in 15 seconds. Floods, recession, Lib Dems, (thrusts hip back and forth) Wayne Rooney!

RK - Medical news just in, pioneering X-rays have proven that Nick Clegg has a spine.

HD - Our tape of Big Ben is broken. Bong.

MJ - This is Fox News (make fox noises).

KB - Free lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi has died.

HD - Are you there? No? There's no one there. Well, we hope to talk to Michael Jackson later.

MJ - Later on, we'll be finding how the Queen arrived in Australia, but first...

PK - Finally economic news. We're fucked, goodnight!

AP - There is still an embargo on revealing the footballer at the centre of this sex case. This is Bryan Henderson, outside John Terry's house, surrey.

HD - Protestors set fire to cars and the blocked the carriageway for several hours in protest over something or other bloody French.

AP - City News now. London is dangerous, York is old, and Bristol is a bit weird.

Unlikely Things To Hear On A Train Edit

HD - This is the Virgin train service to Edinburgh. If you're not a virgin, would you please get off at Hemel Hempstead.

AP - We would like to apologise for the bumpy ride as we enter the last station. This is due to some selfish bastard throwing himself under the train.

KB - We're now arriving in Sheffield. Could all passengers in first class please pull back your window blinds and take a look at the real world.

RK - We'd like to apologise for the toilet being out of order the entire journey, as Ricky hatton is in it.

HD - Due to staff shortages, I am unable to finish this announ...

AP - Hot food is now available, because the buffet car is on fire.

KB - We have now arrived in Birmingham New Street, we are pleased to inform any passengers wishing to change to Wolverhampton, that there is a JD Sports opposite the station.

PK - 'Scuse me, do you have any one of those sandwiches? They're delicious!

AP - Hmm, I wonder whether I should take my personal belongings with me when I leave this train. If only there was an announcement that could possibly help me!

HD - We apologies for the delay in services, this was caused by points of failure that made something up.

MJ - (high pitched voice) Hello. This is the train speaking. I know we're running a bit late, but don't worry, I know a shortcut.

KB - Could the passenger causing a disturbance in the quiet coach, please settle down and stop shouting about your heart medicine.

HD - Would the driver please contact the guard? We have no idea where you are.

AP - This is the driver, contacting the guard. Where am I?

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