|Title||Series 11, Episode 1|
|Air date||14 June 2012|
|Host||Dara Ó Briain|
|Left team|| Greg Davies|
|Right team|| Andy Parsons|
|Result||Chris and Hugh's team won|
|Previous||Series 10, Episode 13|
|Next||Series 11, Episode 2|
The first episode of the eleventh series was first broadcast on the 14 June 2012
|Chris and Hugh's team||Greg Davies||5th appearance|
|Andy's team||Nathan Caton||2nd appearance|
|Micky Flanagan||8th appearance|
- O.B.E.C. - Osborne Blames European Crisis
- AP: Old Berliner Eats Chin
- NC: Oh, Bubblegum's Extra Chewy
- GD: Opulant Bellend Enjoys Coffee
- MF: Osborne Bangs Euro Cutie
- HD: Oh, Blimey, Ēs Catastrophe
- HD: Osborne Believes he is Elvis' Child
Angela Smirkel's Comedy BailoutEdit
|Andy Parsons||Nathan Caton||Chris Addison|
If This Is the Answer, What Is the Question?Edit
- Home News
- Answer: Trains, Toilets and Celebrities
- Question: What 3 things were most complained about at the Queen's Jubilee?
- NC: If you're going to make a sex tape on public transport, what three things do you need?
- HD: What three flavors come through when you're tasting English wine?
- CA: According to the coalition agreement, what three things do the Lib-Dems have responsibility for?
- HD: Name three things I've left my umbrella in
- MF: Is it three things you're probably best off not to lick clean?
- CA: What is the name of Thomas the Tank Engine's no holds barred autobiography?
- GD: What Peter Andre says when he's asked what his daily routine is?
- HD: What do we do better then Morocco?
- AP: Name three things I've puked on at the Edinburgh Festival
- CA: What are the three main talking points on a Saga holiday?
- AP: Is it three things that are full of shit?
Scenes We'd Like To SeeEdit
- Unlikely Things To Hear At An Awards Ceremony
- CA: And the winner is Dara O' Briain
- NC: And the award for Driver of the Year goes to David Cameron for his perfectly executed U-turn
- HD: Welcome to the National Insincerity Awards. And can I say what a pleasure it is to be here
- CA: And Soap of the Year goes to... (hums opening tune of 'Eastenders') 'Coronation Street!'
- HD: Would you please welcome your host for tonight... Dec
- MF: And the award for Best Actress this evening goes to John Travolta's wife
- CA: Father of the year is... David Cameron!
- GD: And predictably for the 50th year running, the Rear of the Year has been won by the same man. Come on up, Chris. (silence) It's a Chris Rear joke
- NC: And the award for Best Film... Cling. Cling film
- CA: This is the point in the Psychic Awards where we like to remember those we lost next year
- HD: Well, they said it was ill-advised, but welcome to the first Witness Protection Scheme Awards
- AP: And the award for Most Cleaveage on View goes to Eamonn Holmes' arse!
- HD: Well now, our final category: Catergory C. There are 3 sex offenders nominated tonight...
- MF: And I'd just like to say to the wife at home, you better not be around when I get home, sister, 'cause I'm big time now
- GD: And the Best Post-Humously Realeased Rap Record goes to Kim Jong for 'I Told You I Was Ill'
- AP: And to present Best Film in a Foreign Language, would you please welcome Nick Griffin
- GD: And the winner of Rear of the Year is Chris Rear (wild applause)
- Unlikely Lines From A Thriller
- HD: What more evidence do you need that there is a mole? Look at the lawn!
- AP: Your wife's head in a box. You must be the most unluckly contestant ever on 'Deal or No Deal'
- CA: (camply) What colour wire do I have to cut? The lilac, the mauve, the salmon pink, or the fuschia?
- GD: "I want to make you a vodka martini." "You can't handle vermouth!"
- AP: "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" she purred. "Yes, it is a gun in my pocket and I've just shot my cock off."
- HD: I'm telling you there will be no attack. This is a side picked by Roy Hodgson
- NC: So Mr. Bond, we meet--- Ah! Flippin' cat!
- MF: I'm telling you captain, I work best alone! But sometimes in a team! Basically, I'm saying I'm flexible
- HD: So, Mr. Bond, we meet at last. Why don't we ever Skype?
- GD: "I would like to gently lift your horse's foot." "You can't handle the hoof!"
- CA: They had human liver with fava beans with a nice Chianti. But the entertainment was excellent, and he was a lovely host, so I'm going to give Hannibal 7 out of 10
- MF: "Here's Johnny!" "Do you mind? I'm trying to have a shit in here"
- AP: "This prostitute isn't dead," said the Norwegian detective. "She's just pining for the fjords."
- GD: And as his eyes gradually became accustomed to the shadowy darkness, he realized he was not alone in that room. "Who is it?" "It's me Peter Andre!"