Key Edit

  • HD - Hugh Dennis
  • RB - Rob Beckett
  • MJ - Milton Jones
  • AP - Andy Parsons
  • HW - Holly Walsh
  • RR - Romesh Ranganathan

Topics Edit

Bad things to say on a first date Edit

HW - I'm not wearing any knickers 'cause I've just shat myself.

AP - So here's a good one, name your favourite three members of the Nazi party.

HD - Well I know, I mean that's the great thing about a blind date isn't it? You don't know who you're going to meet. How are you, mother?

RR - No it's totally alright son I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. That'll be £8 please.

MJ - Do I want tiramisu? I tiramido.

RB - I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't realise how far the restaurant was away from the STD clinic.

HD - What brand of pants do I wear? God, that's a forward question. Incontinence.

AP - So I've marked your homework.

HW - Do you have a condom? 'Cause the police are coming and I need to swallow this cocaine.

MJ - My last girlfriend said I was unnecessarily mysterious. Or did she?

RR - Oh no it's really great to meet another Star Wars fan. (talks as Yoda) Mmm blowjob I will get.

HD - Let's go Dutch. (Dutch accent) I'll have the poppadoms please.

MJ - My last girlfriend abandoned me at the alter. Not into animal sacrifice apparently.

RB - Oh you're back. How's the shit?

HD - Don't tell me. Lamb, am I right? It's just that I was expecting a woman.

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