- HD - Hugh Dennis
- RB - Rob Beckett
- MJ - Milton Jones
- AP - Andy Parsons
- HW - Holly Walsh
- RR - Romesh Ranganathan
Bad things to say on a first date Edit
HW - I'm not wearing any knickers 'cause I've just shat myself.
AP - So here's a good one, name your favourite three members of the Nazi party.
HD - Well I know, I mean that's the great thing about a blind date isn't it? You don't know who you're going to meet. How are you, mother?
RR - No it's totally alright son I just wanted to make sure you got home safely. That'll be £8 please.
MJ - Do I want tiramisu? I tiramido.
RB - I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't realise how far the restaurant was away from the STD clinic.
HD - What brand of pants do I wear? God, that's a forward question. Incontinence.
AP - So I've marked your homework.
HW - Do you have a condom? 'Cause the police are coming and I need to swallow this cocaine.
MJ - My last girlfriend said I was unnecessarily mysterious. Or did she?
RR - Oh no it's really great to meet another Star Wars fan. (talks as Yoda) Mmm blowjob I will get.
HD - Let's go Dutch. (Dutch accent) I'll have the poppadoms please.
MJ - My last girlfriend abandoned me at the alter. Not into animal sacrifice apparently.
RB - Oh you're back. How's the shit?
HD - Don't tell me. Lamb, am I right? It's just that I was expecting a woman.